Have you ever felt like the weight of the world was right on your chest? Like you’ve checked every mom group online and you just don’t connect with anyone? As if something so small, like not making homemade baby food, means you’ve failed as a parent? That is called Mom Shame. It is real. And it is not fun.
There are a lot of things that can make you feel full of shame, especially as a mom. It’s hard to feel like you’re doing a good job as a mother (remember, you are) when there are so many unrealistic expectations that are to be met. Here’s my take on how to combat feeling shame.
The world is so connected through screens that it’s easy to fall for those ‘perfect’ moments that you see. Something that’s important to remember: most of what you see online are people’s ‘highlight reels’ – the good stuff, the gooey stuff, the picture perfect stuff. Don’t let yourself get too wrapped up in it. Don’t overthink it! Someone online posted a photo of all of their kids in perfectly matching outfits out in public? Great! That doesn’t mean that you aren’t a good mom because you didn’t leave the house and are still in pajamas. That’s actually something I had to tell myself regularly. Every mom out there is trying her best. We all win Mom of the Year awards.
Sometimes as a mother you can start to feel isolated and confused. “Am I doing this right? Will my kid(s) look back on their childhood and tell themselves they had a good one?” Yes, they will. Something that I have overcome is feeling like I always had to be DOING something with my son. That’s not the case! Sometimes a chill day being productive at home can be just as stimulating (and sometimes much more needed) than a day full of back-to-back activities. It is allowed!
Shame is a tough battle to overcome. But from one mom to another, it’s possible to beat it. Way possible! Love is the answer, and it always will be. You need to love yourself just as much as you love your babies. It’ll carry you through any obstacles shame tries to throw at you. You GOT this. I believe in you. Xoxo.
Remember there is no such thing as the perfect mom!
With Love, the Baby Discovery Box Team