When you don’t have support, motherhood can be so much harder. Finding a mom tribe is so, so helpful. From having someone to listen to your concerns and say, “Oh, that’s normal,” to having a reason to leave the house and a place that won’t judge you for wearing second day (or fourth day) hair, a mom tribe is an important place for you.
So how do you find it?
Well, if you’re a member of a religious or special needs organization, those often have groups that you can connect with. If your area has a Headstart or other preschool support program, you can find a group there. Libraries and schools also sometimes have parent groups. You can search online, ask in local Facebook groups, or ask people you know.
Once you’ve found a group, how do you know if it’s the right one?
First, see if it has a mix of older and younger mothers. A blended group will give you a better variety of perspectives.
Then, listen to how they talk and consider if their families are similar to how you want yours to be. Do they share the same values as you? A few differences of opinion is good! It means you won’t be in an echo chamber. But if they’re strongly different from you, then the clash may make your life more difficult instead of less.
How do they talk about motherhood? Are they angry and complaining, or optimistic and glad? Are they real about their struggles or always showing the side of them that’s together? Are they welcoming or cliquish?
You will be able to find the moms that make up your tribe. It may take some time, and it may be a journey, but you will find them. And you will form strong bonds that profoundly affect your life.
Hats off to you, Mama. You got this.
The Discovery Box Team